Tai chi is so awesome.

Last night we practiced our tai chi form together and Sifu told us to focus on our dan tien and try to move very slowly but without stopping. We also did standing meditation afterwards. It was a great practice, I could really feel something. It's hard to desribe accurately but there was a sort of fullness in my dan tien (lower abdomen) and a feeling of tingling and a weird creakyness in my hands and arms. Sifu says not to focus on trying to feel any particular sensations but there are times when they're so strong that you can't not notice. The reason he says not to try to feel anything is that is because many people try so hard to feel what they're 'supposed' to that they create something in thier minds when the feeling actually comes from your body. That's supposedly why we train our bodies so hard, so that they become relaxed and strong, a clear channel for chi to flow through. It's pretty great to see it happening in my own body, I still have a long way to go but the progress is encouraging.

He also corrected me on a part of the form that's been kind of awkward and I couldn't figure out why. It feels a lot better now and even though he made me do it over and over and gave me heck in front of everyone I was able to stay calm and focused instead of feeling angry. I'm not sure why but Sifu can really make me feel embarrassed and angry when he chastises me harshly or gives me a knock on the head in class. I know that he wouldn't do that if he didn't care about helping me and that he does it purposefully but I've had a difficult time not having an emotional response in the moment. I think last night is a sign that I'm making progress in that regard too. It also made it easier to correct my mistake because I could focus on what I was doing instead of having my mind clouded with emotions. Cool.

I actually had a really challenging week of hard training and also frustration with certain people that I have no choice but to spend a LOT of time with. It was really draining and by Tuesday/Wednesday I was pretty exhausted mentally and emotionally. Thursday being the day off helped but last nights' class was what really helped me get over all that and replenish some of the energy I'd lost during the week.