Day 14

It's been a while since I said anything about my push ups but all is going well. For a while I felt as though I'd stopped progressing and was staying at the same level but now recently I've had a big improvement. I feel so much stronger than before I started this project and I'm proud of myself for making it thus far.

I also feel good about the things I've been working on each day. The forms I've been practicing are getting better and better, I'm getting stronger, I have more stamina, and my foot position on my side kick is looking more like it should.

I've noticed both in the training and in my push-ups that sometimes it feels like what I'm doing isn't working and I get discouraged and critical. Somehow though it all comes together and I experience a big leap in progress where I can see a major change and feel really good about all my effort. I can see now that in the past if I was feeling that I wasn't getting better fast enough I'd get impatient and move on to something else. If I'd only kept working on it, I probably would have experienced a great improvement.

Hindsight really is 20/20.

Day 13-Lucky # 13

I really did feel lucky today. Lucky to have kung fu in my life, lucky to be surrounded by wonderful people, lucky to be fit and healthy, and lucky to live in such a privileged country. I imagine what it would be like to grow up on the other side of the world sometimes. I might never have been able to learn kung fu as a female in some cultures. I might not be able to afford the luxuries that I so enjoy like fresh groceries and a comfortable place to live. I might not have the freedom to believe what I want and be the weirdo that I am.

One of the reasons that kung fu is so important to me is that it helps me to be more humble and more compassionate. It has opened my world so that I can see more, good and bad. It gives me the passion to change what I can and try to make things better somehow. The biggest difference it has made for me personally is that it has given me confidence. Confidence to speak up for myself and others and to stand up for what I believe in. I can say with certainty that I would not be who I am today if I never met Master Brinker and started training all those years ago.

When we bow in and out at the beginning and the end of class what do you think about? When we say "past masters" I think of all those who have directly or indirectly helped me get to where I am even without me knowing. I feel gratitude for all their efforts and caring. Throughout our history people have struggled to pass on their knowledge of kung fu, sometimes even risking their lives to do so. We are blessed and privileged to be part of this lineage.

Day 12

Holy crap! I'm almost half done already! Time really does fly.

My back has been sore since Friday, I'm not sure why, so today I decided to do my push-ups and some strength training and then I did a yoga routine for healing a sore back. I think it was a really good idea because as soon as I was done I felt amazing and now tomorrow I'll be able to train like usual again. I think part of why it was so great is also that it was so mellow and relaxing. I feel like it healed my mind as well as my body. That's one of the things that I love about yoga, it's a great way to nurture yourself which is especially important for martial artists because training hard at anything takes it's toll on a person.

Day 11

Today I was really tired. I went for a swim which was good to cool off and for a bit of cardio but afterwards I was totally wiped out. I had to struggle to finish my push-ups and my training for today but I did it. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have more energy again and I'll go to bed at a decent hour. I've definitely been getting less sleep since I started this training routine. Some days it doesn't matter so much, the exercise gets me pumped up and I have more energy, but other days it gets to me a little. I can't blame the workouts for it though. If I didn't go out I'd have gotten more sleep last night and tonight so it's all about priorities (there's that word again). More and more I'm learning about what my priorities are and that in the past there were lots of times when I put other things before kung fu. I'm certain that's a big reason why I've had such problems with consistency. All I'm doing now is putting kung fu first (and sleep last) and I've already noticed big changes in the way I see things.

Day 10

Black belt class today was totally awesome! We did this really fun drill that was a great workout, helped us review our curriculum, and tested our reaction time. Basically we went in partners and one person had 2 shields or focus mitts and they called out random techniques and the other person was doing them. The class flew by! I think this is something that I'm going to incorporate into my home training.

One bad thing was that my back was sore for some reason and kicking high was uncomfortable. I'm going to sleep now though and if it's not better tomorrow I know a great yoga routine for it that really works.

Day 9

I really did have renewed energy and purpose today. Throughout the day at work I was thinking about what I need to focus on the most and prioritizing those things. Even though I only trained for the 2 hours, it feels like I was training all day. That means that by the time I got home from work I new exactly what I was going to do and I was super focused. I'm certain I was much more effective because of it. I guess this is what Master Brinker means when he talks about mental training. I can see that if you were doing that all day every day you really could progress quickly with only 10 minutes of practice a day. Those 10 minutes would be planned to the max by the time you got to them.

I'm really learning a lot already about the way I normally do things and other ways that those things could be done. I'm usually very lackadaisical and sporadic in my training, pretty much doing whatever pops into my head. Now I'm seeing that it pays to be organized and consistent.

Now I'm tired though and I'm going to bed. Good night.

Day 8

I was feeling good when I woke up this morning but my muscles are really tired from yesterday and the day before when I went really hard. I decided to take it relatively easy so I did some tai chi, forms, and a lot of stretching. I think it was a good idea although I am feeling the pressure a bit. Yesterday I realized that I am 25% done and I can't believe how fast time is going. I have a lot that I want to work on and I haven't improved nearly as much as I was hoping to. I'm going to have to focus more specifically on the things that really need work. I'd say the thing that has improved the most is my tai chi form, which is good because I plan on doing 250 reps of it so it better be good by the time I finish that!

I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I am filled with energy and strength of purpose.