Brandi Gets Humbled (Again)

Kung Fu (and I'm sure other martial arts) has a funny way of teaching humility.

A couple of weeks ago I left my Friday class feeling pretty awesome. I'd been complimented on something by my instructor, I'd picked up something new pretty quickly, and I had noticed an improvement on my flying techniques which I've been working on lately. I was starting to feel a little bit proud of myself and that I was on the right track as far as my training was concerned.

I've been going over my goals with Master Brinker and there was one in particular that I'd been struggling with in my attempts to refine it. Master Brinker helped me figure out that if I wanted to improve my sparring I needed to improve my footwork and centering. It took me a while to wrap my head around this because I always thought I had a good sense of center. So now something that I had considered a strength turns out to be weaker than I would like and is affecting other aspects of my training.

Then we were working on our side kicks in class last week both in the 2nd degree brown and the black belt classes. I realized that my foot position is not perfect! I know that it was at one time but in practicing lately I must have let it slip a little. So now I have to work on my foot position as well as on my eye for detail because I really should have noticed. I knew something was feeling off about that kick as of late but for some reason couldn't see what it was.

And lastly on a hike on Saturday I sprained my foot and so now I've been off work for 3 days and hobbling around the house bored out of my mind. The only productive thing I've done is my push-ups. It's a very humbling thing not being able to walk without help. I'm usually a very independent person so having to ask for help all the time is not my cup of tea.

There you have it. Never assume that you've got it all figured out even a little bit. That's the biggest challenge about kung fu, and the biggest joy! I'm not saying confidence is a bad thing but there's always room for improvement, nothing is ever perfect, and no matter how long you've been in it you never stop learning. It's pretty exciting if you can see the bright side.

Life is Living

I consider myself a fairly high energy person. There are times when I feel tired and worn out but I think it's more of a mental state than anything else.

The things that make me feel drained are the drudgery of the daily grind. Get up go to work, come home, go to sleep, do it again. We spend so much of our precious time at work, paying bills, doing what's expected of us in this society that we have very little time for the things that really matter. Why should we have to choose between spending time with family, or doing kung fu or any activity that we love? It's hard to get pumped to do something and accomplish meaningful things when we have a pile of boring errands and work troubles weighing on our minds.

I see so many people around me in similar states. I'm so lucky to have kung fu to keep me grounded. Otherwise I'd likely be just like the so many people in so many houses in front of the TV every night. When I walk by and glance inside I just want to bang on the window and shout at them "What are we doing? Wake up! Get out there and do something. Live your life!". I don't though. I'd be called crazy if I went around doing that and who am I to judge them anyway?

I'm not sure what the solution is. Should we all go back to the days of pre-industrial revolution before the invention of regular working hours and consumerism? Maybe it would work but at this point it's a bit unrealistic. All I can do and all I can encourage others to do is to get involved. Be a part of a community, get excited about something, enjoy the simple things in life, move your body, connect with people. Care. Do something!

Life is not shopping, life is not watching the tube, life is not keeping up with the Joneses.

Life is Living!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much is enough and doing your absolute best. I know many people (including me) who rarely try as hard as they can and don't hold anything back.

Personally, I have a tendency to do only as much as will satisfy the expectations others have of me. I know that's how I went through school, with a minimum of effort doing only enough to get by. I would figure out the minimum marks I had to get in order to progress and attempt to do only as much as I had to to get that mark. Obviously it's not a foolproof system and sometimes I messed up but I managed to get through it.

Even when I began Kung Fu I tried this system. I had a certain amount of natural ability and so I basically coasted through to blue belt by again doing only the bare minimum. I didn't realize at the time that I was doing this, it was just a habit, how I did everything in life. Find out what the expectations are and try only to meet, not exceed them. Problem was that I could only progress so far using this system so at blue belt I actually had to start trying. I think it hurt me in the end because I didn't have the discipline built up and had to start from scratch when everyone else was already in the groove of practicing consistently.

There are very few times in my life when I can say that I tried my hardest and gave everything I had. My black belt grading was one of those times. I believe, and Master Brinker can correct me if I'm wrong, that one of the reasons that the grading is set up the way it is with all the fitness testing and grueling evaluations is to force people to do their absolute best. When you're in that high pressure situation for 14 hours pushing yourself physically and mentally, you dig down deep and find a strength and courage you didn't know you possessed.

Since that time I've improved a lot. I now understand that doing good enough is not good enough. I can never know what I am capable of if I hold anything back. I often challenge myself and set goals merely for the sake of achieving them. I practice consistently and have never been in better shape or more on top of my kung fu. My problem now is that I am constantly feeling that I could be doing more, that what I'm doing is not enough. If I practice for an hour and then sit down and watch a movie there's a part of me that's going "I could be stretching right now" or "I should work on my Tai Chi form" or a million other things to that effect. I'm sure that I'm right and I could be doing more but I also know that there's nothing wrong with just watching tv sometimes or spending time with people I care about. This guilt is motivating me to do more and try harder, which is good, but I'd like to be able to turn it off sometimes and fully enjoy myself when I'm doing something just for fun.

On the Road Again

So I kinda fell off the wagon as far as following my training schedule. I was really busy for a couple of weeks and was working out very sporadically. Anticipating that this might happen I asked my man Steve to pointedly ask me about how my training was going every so often. Thankfully he did and it spurred me onwards to train again. It also made me think about dedication. In my opinion dedication is something that is built up over time. We're all human and we live busy lives in a fast paced world so we need to be able to take stock of where we're at and re-focus on the things that are important to us. Doing this over and over again is how real dedication is born. I am constantly evaluating the things in my life that are benefiting me and those that are not and trying to focus only on what really moves me. Kung Fu is one of those things but there are many. Now that I'm back on the wagon with training daily I feel great, partly because it feels good physically but also because it feeds me mentally and spiritually.

Tiger Challenge

On Saturday we had our Tiger challenge tournament in Spruce Grove. I thought it all went really well! Everyone was there on time and we actually finished early. It was all very organized and flowed smoothly. I was especially excited that I got to judge creative musical forms which are always cool to watch. All competitors did really well and I was blown away by Mr.Panasiuk. A yellow belt doing a creative musical form with a three sectional staff!! And he did really well!

Other events that stood out for me were the black belt performances at the beginning as well as the sparring and San Shou. Every competitor was fully prepared and it showed.

I hope everyone else was as inspired as I was. I'm already planning what I'm going to do next year and it's given me some ideas for what I need to work on for third degree black belt.

Something I realized is that you don't have to go far for inspiration. Movies and all that stuff are good but I get more out of watching my students and classmates do their thing.

Awesome job everyone!

Neat Link

http://www.yogamagazine.co.uk/article.php?articleid=161§ionid=4

This is a short article on the benefits martial artists may experience by practicing yoga.

I myself have noticed improvements in my kung fu as well as my posture and general health since starting yoga.

Saying It and Doing It Are Two Completely Different Things

This morning I got up early, practiced some forms and kicks, did some yoga and had breakfast. I feel fantastic and I'm wondering why I don't do this every morning. For me personally the morning is the best time to practice. Later on in the day there are all sorts of distractions. Phone calls, emails, making dinner, classes. Not to mention the fact that after work I'm usually pretty tired.

Right now I'm working on a training schedule. It's not done yet but it will be by the end of the week. I'm going to be scheduling some kind of training every morning as well as before bed each night.

Normally I just practice when I find time and do whatever's got my interest at the time which has served me well but Master Brinker has been talking about setting up a specific schedule and the benefits of that so I thought I'd give it a try. I'm hoping that following a schedule will help me maintain focus and work on the goals that I've set.

I'll be practicing mainly forms, kicks, and combinations for now. I'll also be scheduling time for tai chi, yoga, chi gong, meditation, and general fitness. Of course I'll continue to do 150 push-ups each day. whew!

Although I am looking forward to the physical benefits of consistent training, I'm really excited by the mental benefits of setting out to do a task and following through. I can't remember where I heard it but last year I remember hearing that every time you say you're going to do something and then you don't do it, you break a promise to yourself. Over time you stop trusting yourself. Then if you say you'll do something, deep down you don't believe it anymore. What a sad thing to not even be able to trust yourself in this scary world. Ever since I learned that I've been systematically rebuilding trust in myself by choosing small goals and following through. To start with it was as simple as saying "I will do the dishes" or "I will kick the heavy bag for 10 minutes". You have to start small to build up confidence and belief in yourself. Then I decided to do 150 push-ups each day and I'm doing it. If I had tried to do it last year I might have failed but because I believe in myself more, I'm succeeding.

In yogic philosophy there exists the idea of Tapas. Besides the practice of asana (postures) there are several guidelines for living one of which is tapas. Basically tapas is the practice of self-discipline which builds the heat of intensity. Once one disciplines oneself and builds this heat, internal obstacles are burned away and practice becomes easier. One practices more and builds more heat which pushes one on even further in a self sustaining cycle towards reaching ones ultimate potential. Which is pretty cool!

What's your ultimate potential? What were you put here to achieve? Start by building some trust and confidence, burn away your obstacles, and do it!