On Thursday I had a really intense 2 hour BJJ class. I basically got beat down the whole time, which is what happens pretty much every time I go to that class, but it's not usually such a long class. Well after that I was too tired and discouraged to do a Muay Thai class. I was dissapointed in myself though. Then when I went home I added up all my hours and I'm just half done my BJJ requirements and a quarter on the Muay Thai. Well all of that piled on top of the stress of getting ready for a 5 year trip and I had a bit of a meltdown. I've been overwhelmed at more than one point on this journey before but this was really discouraging. I realized that I still have a ridiculous amount of work ahead of me and only about 6 weeks to do it all in. It seems impossible.
First, I talked to my mom about it and she gave me some wise words and loving encouragement. Then I called Sifu Brinker and scheduled a meeting with him. We talked about where I was with my goals and what I had already achieved. He brought up the progress I'd made since Mel and I came back from China and reminded me that without all these overwhelming goals, I would probably never have gotten this far in my training. As usual, he's right.
Well, I feel a lot better now. It's still a stressful situation but I've put it in perspective. I'm still going to try really hard reach my goals but I know that whether I do or not, I'll have done my best and improved a lot.
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